I woke up crying
And I remember exactly why
Our ship was going down
This time
Deeper than the deep dark blue depths of the sea
I knew the enemy was close
Closer than the thought of the passing waves
I and one other of all the men survived the loss of our vessel
The ferociousness of the sea
Ships were going down to
There, far left, there was land — but closer
Not land
The enemies themselves
Watching us swim
When the crew member went
Forward towards the bow of the vessel
We jumped on the water and swan closer to land
When we saw them behind us — staring at us
I and the one who survived with me
Swung aboard into the vessel by the enemy's arms
I saw her — she smiled at to see me
She knew I knew all she wanted was to watch me drown
I couldn’t believe my luck
Our ship was going down and there she was
Why wouldn’t it be ok?
Today would’ve been a good day to drown
But they had a plan for us
We were lucky that day h
Had been fished from the sea late night
The games would begin at sunrise
Left alone
I yearned for nothing more
Than to be closer to you
One day, refusing to entertain, refused to surrender
To let the guard down and serve
What was most desired
Tall stood
Untouchable
Paradoxical respect
Adamant vessel
At her side again
Not withholding contempt
In fear of her love — her touch — her
Caused their distaste for her
Shown their diffidence
Our own downfall
How long did she survive
their games before my arrival?
—
The game had began — sun strong, the tide stronger
It was that one by one we had to swim
Across the sides of the vessels
At an L angle, 90 degrees from the bow
One single shot would be targeted at the turn
If you could swim out swiftly and return without being hit — well
You would live to swim again
I was placed last that day — having now recalled
The crew member who had survived with me
Was shot on the first night
Said something they didn’t like
I’ve learned we were not the only ones
I was the second to last now
The game had just gotten to a beauty
Then — there — I notice a pattern
Three seconds before the shot
Just fake the third stroke — slow down on the second
One could avoid the sniper at the turn
—
He as the one before, performed beautifully
She was next
I believed she could do this
She thought it too
I saw her motion the cycle
Breath shot versus stroke in her eyes
Nodding I almost joked
It is said — you know
I’m not a great swimmer
Don’t get me wrong
I’m entirely a swimmer
No great swimmer
Nerveless a swimmer
The seriousness in her eyes
The corners of her mouth turned
I just want to tell her I love you one more time
I always have — always will
She jumped — now — into the water
Performs just as I would have her
Missing the clipping shots by
Cutting just short of her third stroke — as I would
Raising her heel high to see me
There was a second shot, body convulsed
Body turned to her side in a fetal position
They’ve ignored their rules — all had changed
—
Then a third shot
Second small hole pierced
Straight through as she regained composure
Swimming back to the vessel’s side — shouting
I snuck through the crowd to see
The woman from the night before
The fellow foe, the girl I saw before
This is not how the game goes
Obedient smile
It's costumery
You must learn discipline — discipline and will
I could no longer see her
The crowd rushed in — I suddenly felt guilty
Alone and desired as she was by her murderers
If not woken sobbing in pain
In despair from the loss
Loss of you that night
Where your love kept me
Jumping behind — drowning
Risking the shots — risking being caught
Drowning until there was nothing left
Just to hold you one more time
Kiss you one more time
Say — I love you
One more time
Deeper than the deep dark blue depths of the sea